Stop Growing!

This past Sunday, our son celebrated his 6-month "birthday". 6 months! When he arrived in our home, he was 4 months old...I am not a math teacher, but logic dictates that he has been with us for 2 months.

This, however, is simply impossible. Here's why. In 2 months, our son has gained teeth, rolled over, started cooing and making other various noises, steadied his head (ah, the bobble-head days!), started eating "solids" (yum...rice cereal mixed with green beans...), sleeps through the night, holds his own bottle...the list goes on and on.

I know many adults who can't make their beds more than 3 times in a 2-month period, let alone achieve such a major series of milestones! I mean, our tree has been undecorated for 2 weeks now, and I haven't touched it since....there it stands, in the corner of our living room, ready to be disassembled and packed away....*sigh*....Clearly my son is more advanced than I!

Which brings me back to last Sunday. In honor of the 6-month event, husband, son, and I stayed home all day and "quality tested" the sofa and love seat and television....all day long. I haven't spent a day like that in years...but, thanks to HGTV and TLC, we watched nothing but home improvement and house flipping shows for hours and hours and hours, while son "quality tested" his walker, his bouncer, his daddies' laps, etc.

Anway, sometime after lunch, husband and I decided that even though he wasn't fussy, our son might enjoy a bottle. I pushed pause on the old DVR (a miracle machine!) and wandered into the kitchen to prepare said treat for son. Taking a risk, I decided to go all out - for the first time ever, I made a full 8-ounce bottle of liquid gold for the kid (we hadn't made it to Sam's Club, so we were forced to use the real-deal...Enfamil, baby - the non-gassy formula!).

I returned to my spot on the couch (which still was in need of quality testing) with bottle in hand, ready for the squirming and the "playing with the food" to commence. Husband handed me our son and pushed "play" (again...magic!).

Just as I was getting comfortable, adjusting son so that he could "quality test" the television with us if he so chose, the commercial break started - and son started feasting. Husband decided to take a bathroom break, and since the commercial was that Jeep commercial where the animals jump into the Jeep and sing with the driver (dang funny stuff), I decided to let the commercials play.

Ok. Our son is NOT going to college. Husband and I are putting our foot down now, based upon this little, seemingly insignificant story. Nope - no higher education for our advanced boy. The commercials were just finishing as husband returned from his bathroom break...and son, well, let's just say he let us know he was still in the room by expelling a loud burp. Looking down, husband and I were shocked to see that he had drained his bottle dry. Our son can roll over, he can sleep through the night, and, apparently, he can chug. (In fact, I am relatively sure he downed that 8 ounces faster than my college roommate could drain a can of Pabst....).

So, perhaps you can understand now why higher education is not in our son's future?

*sigh*

His2Dads