An Important Decision

Eleven days ago, I made my inaugural dive into the cool, sweet waters of Blogging in the world of the Internet. From the moment I jumped from the cliffs of Publish Post, I found myself surrounded by the winds of Anticipation, wondering who, if any, would be around to see my splash.

As I made the decision to write my first entry, I was attracted by the idea of sharing a part of my life with the unknown. This attraction was more intense because, in many ways, I have chosen to live a more-guarded life "in the real-world". Most people, I believe, are able to take some small pieces of their personal lives with them as they transition into their professional lives. For example, most people don't stop being married when they cross the thresholds of their places of business. When, in casual conversation, they are asked about their families, they can reply without thought. This is not always the case for me.

As a teacher, I am, and I quote, "held to a higher standard." And I am honored to uphold this standard, as I understand the trust placed in me by the public, and the vitality of the work I do to change the lives of my students.

However, it has been my experience that we are not upheld to the same standard. Just walk down the halls of any school. Located on the desks of many teachers, you will find similar artifacts: photos of families representing the people and the events that are significant to those teachers' lives. Brief remarks in reference to spouses made in passing can be heard occasionally in lessons, if only to connect with students - "My wife is having our baby soon, so there will be a guest teacher in the classroom for awhile" -or- "My husband and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon; has anyone ever been to Hawaii?". Students are even aware of the personal symbols we wear as subtle announcements of our marital status.

My classroom is different. Oh, I have pictures on my desks, but none exclusively celebrate my commitment to my partner; he is there, but buried in a group family-photo. And I wear a ring every day, but I find myself making some side-stepping, humorous comment when questioned about my "wife" - "Mr. Journeyman, how long have you and your wife been married?" to which I reply, "I don't know, Sallie. How long have you and your husband been married?", followed by a small laugh and a very quick change of topic.

Don't get me wrong. I do not begrudge any of my straight friends for the freedoms they may take for granted. And I am very much aware that there are more and more gay teachers living and working openly, and that society seems more accepting of diverse families than it ever has been. Even more importantly, I know that if there is any "choice" involved in my situation at all, it is that I have chosen to guard very closely "that which makes me different." As a gay teacher, my partner, too, has made similar choices in his own classroom.

I want you, my reader, to understand that I am not on a soapbox here. This is not a politically-motivated blog, as I respect and celebrate your right to your own opinions. However, this is my blog. This is my reality. Therefore, today I am making an important decision. I have shared in the reality (or, in what I perceive to be the reality) of many strangers in their own blogging experiences, and I have been touched by that which they have shared - their personal stories, their pictures, their thoughts on life.

For my son and for my partner, I am choosing to share just a little more with you, the unknown. As you may have noticed, I have now included on this page a photograph of my family. I am proud of us. I am proud of where we have been and of where we are. And I am completely in awe of the possibilities of our future. In honor of my family, I wish to make one more blogging "promise"...Every time I have typed the word "partner" in reference to my spouse in my blog entries, I have cringed inside, as it sounds so plastic and impersonal. From now on, I will bestow upon him the honor which he deserves; he is nothing less than my husband.

From my family to yours, we wish you, the unknown reader, the very best in this holiday season. And I promise to not always write so "seriously" - it's draining! *grin*

Peace!

His2Dads