Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Reality Check

On September 6th of this year, a day after my 29th birthday, I met the child who would become my son. When I held the 3-month old baby for the first time, I knew I was in love. For 28 days, our lives were a blur, as every ounce of our being was devoted to bringing our son home. And since October 3rd, we have experienced a happiness and a completeness unlike anything we have ever known. The fact that we share no biological connection is inconsequential; we have been born again, in many ways, as a family. Nothing I have done thus far in life - not the Eagle Scout award, not the bachelor's degree in teaching, not the two graduate degrees - nothing has been greater than becoming a parent.

Parenthood, while a perfect and beautiful gift, does not come without a cost. Parenthood is not to be taken for granted; with happiness and laughter, there is pain and tears.

Today, I had an image etched into my heart that I will never forget. I took my son in for his 4-month checkup this afternoon. He was amazing...in fact, he is right on target, and is in the 90th percentile for his height and in the 75th percentile for his weight. He giggled and cooed for much of our 2 hours in the doctors' office. But as long as I live, I will never forget watching his smile turn to tears as he was given his shots.

I know pain is a fact of life. I know how important these shots are. I also know that he probably has already forgotten about them. But I remember - and even as I type, I can feel the tears fighting to escape.

A piece of my papa-heart broke today, watching my son hurt. But I am so thankful for the gift of parenthood - I would not trade it for anything (or for everything!)...

His2Dads

5 comments:

OHmommy said...

Shots AWLAYS hurt the parent more. I have learned to hug and turn my head. Still hate them!

Anonymous said...

If I could absorb every tear and the pain that caused it that by boy sheds, I would. Yes, even dreaded shots!

BTW, I tagged you:
http://busydad.squarespace.com/entries/7-facts-part-ii-bigger-badder-and-randomer.html

JK said...

Hopped over from busydad's blog. You are great to love your child like that. Like you, I am thankful for being a parent although there are moments when I feel like giving up when the kids are naughty but then, come to think of it, they are just testing our patience. Have a great day.

Unknown said...

Found you via ohmommy!
When our son was born I used to have to take my mom to the pediatrician with me because I couldn't handle the shots. He could fall and bleed or puke or whatever other disgusting thing you can think of and I can deal but the shots I can't do!

Johnny said...

Shots are easier than having to bring your child in to have blood drawn for the first time. I would say my heart was broken the worst when I had to bring my son in for his circumcision. I had to leave the room. I couldn't even be a DAD for him... I was a BIG WHIMP